Virginia has been a university English instructor for over 20 years. She specializes in helping people write essays faster and easier. Write About Relationships Do you have a sister, friend, cousin or other female relative that has significantly influenced you? Source Included in this Article 1.
For many applicants, this is akin to writing a perfect Italian sonnet about their lives—or boiling their lives down to a haiku. If you start your essays early, you will have plenty of time to play with them.
Once you have a good draft, good editing is paramount. You want to create clean sentences, use the most precise vocabulary possible and cut out repetition. One well-chose word can replace a phrase or even a sentence. To show you what I mean, I will edit and vastly cut down the much longer essay we discussed in my last post.
It will be helpful to see the last post and read the essay before continuing. This final essay could be used equally as well for an intellectual experience essay or a personal influence essay. When I was a boy, I had a religious-school teacher named Mr.
Spector, whose job was to confront us with the peril we presented to ourselves. Jewish Ethics was the name of the class. We must have been eight or nine. Spector used a workbook to guide the discussion; every Sunday, we began by reading a kind of modern parable or cautionary tale, and then contended with a series of imponderable questions.
One day, for example, we discussed the temptations of shoplifting; another class was devoted to all the harm to oneself and to others that could be caused by the telling of lies.
Spector was a gently acerbic young man with a black beard and black Roentgen-ray eyes. He seemed to take our moral failings for granted and, perhaps as a result, favored lively argument over reproach or condemnation.
I enjoyed our discussions, while remaining perfectly aloof at my core from the issues they raised. I was, at the time, an awful liar, and quite a few times had stolen chewing gum and baseball cards from the neighborhood Wawa.
None of that seemed to have anything to do with Mr.
Spector or the cases we studied in Jewish Ethics. All nine-year-olds are sophists and hypocrites; I found it no more difficult than any other kid to withhold my own conduct from consideration in passing measured judgment on the human race.
The one time I felt my soul to be in danger was the Sunday Mr. Spector raised the ethical problem of escapism, particularly as it was experienced in the form of comic books. There was known to have been such a boy, Mr.
Spector informed us—at least one verifiable boy, so enraptured and so betrayed by the false dream of Superman that it killed him. Fantasy betrayed you, and thus, by implication, your wishes, your dreams and longings, everything you carried around inside your head that only you and Superman and Elliot S!
Maggin exclamation point and all, the principal Superman writer circa could understand—all these would betray you, too. There were ancillary arguments to be made as well, about the culpability of those who produced such fare, sold it to minors, or permitted their children to bring it into the house.
These arguments were mostly lost on me, a boy who consumed a dozen comic books a week, all of them cheerfully provided to him by his apparently iniquitous father. Rather, what struck me, with the force of a blow, was recognition, a profound moral recognition of the implicit, indeed the secret, premise of the behavior of the boy on the roof.
And yet you had only to tie a towel around your shoulders to feel the strange vibratory pulse of flight stirring in the red sun of your heart. I, too, had climbed to a dangerous height, with my face to the breeze, and felt magically alone of my kind. I had imagined the streak of my passage like a red-and-blue smear on the windowpane of vision.
I had been Batman, too, and the Mighty Thor. I had stood cloaked in the existential agonies of the Vision, son of a robot and grandson of a lord of the ants. A few years after that Sunday in Mr.
And all that I needed to effect the change was to fasten a terry-cloth beach towel around my neck. It was not about escape, I wanted to tell Mr.
Spector, thus unwittingly plagiarizing in advance the well-known formula of a fictitious pioneer and theorist of superhero comics, Sam Clay. Version 2 An Edited Version—You can see the version above under the editing marks, and you can see the word version emerging.The “Significant Experience” Prompt and Your Personal Statement.
June 20, Is the strongest response you could offer to this prompt in the form of an experience or in the form of an achievement? Sample College Essay and Graduate School Personal Statement Editing;.
Tips for a Stellar College Application Essay 1. Write about something that's important to you. It could be an experience, a person, a book—anything that has had an . Write an essay in which you: Describe a book that has strongly affected you.
Explain how your reading of this book changed your outlook. Tell why you think this book had such a profound effect on you. Sample Essay Score: Six.
During my third year of college I became acutely aware of the Womens Rights Issue. Sep 15, · Memory Papers. 1.
Describe the experience so that the reader experiences the event alongside you. 2. Include lots of descriptive details.
You need to make sure the reader sees, hears, feels, smells and experiences the event schwenkreis.coms: 9. The college essay gives you a chance to reveal yourself in a more personal way than SAT scores and lists of extracurricular activities.
Many college applications ask you to write about a significant experience in your life. Personal Statement Essays That Describe an Experience.
If the best material you can offer in response to this personal statement prompt is in the form of an experience, great.
But be careful: Do not offer an experience simply for the sake of its drama or because of the emotional effect that it had upon you.